Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
