I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
