walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
