I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
