There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
