Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
