Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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