If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
