I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
