I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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