How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You made out with two different species that night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
