White coat. Heels.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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