if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
