I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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