Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
