The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
