Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
