the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
