You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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