Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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