you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
