hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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