So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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