I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
