I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
