Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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