did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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