Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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