I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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