I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
