i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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