i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
