What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
