will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
