I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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