It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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