Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
