the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This toilet bowl is my home.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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