I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
