How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
They are going to name an STD after you.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
