I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
