you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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