You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We need a shit load of segways right now
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
