How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am one with the molecules
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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