Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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