Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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