..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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