Your face is a jimmy john
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
