hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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