Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
