Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
