Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
