Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
