I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
