i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
then he tried to convert me to islam
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
