? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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