YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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