Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize