I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
